I think I may be falling in love. And that's not a good thing.

It's heartbreaking to watch someone you care about be heartbroken, and yet, when he bears it so admirably, it's so touching you can't help but wish it was you who had the power to do that.
Not that I want to break his heart, but I do wish I could heal it a little bit. He's so unhappy, but still asks me how I am every time I talk to him. He's one of the very few genuine people I know. He doesn't ask the question as a polite inquiry. He asks because he cares about the answer. He listens. He really wants me to be happy - something I gave up on for myself years ago - and his caring makes it feel that much more possible.
Problem: I met him because he was in love with one of my oldest friends - who is the cause of his recent heartbreak - with whom he is still in love, regardless of the fact that she broke his heart. Maybe it makes me selfish, and maybe it makes me a bad person, but every once in a while, I can't help wishing someone loved me enough to be this unhappy because of me. It hurts to watch him be so sad, to talk to him knowing that he's pretending to be happy. Sometimes I just want to sit in a corner and cry over his broken heart. Is that normal?

I don't get hung over.

It's incredible. And for a while I pretended to feel bad about it, but I really don't, so let's be honest. I went out with friends on Friday night. First bowling (well, okay, a few of us went to the bar and had a drink before we walked to the bowling alley) with a huge group. I think there were ten of us - doesn't seem that big, but when you take into account that we were on two lanes, it's big. Where some of us drank and some didn't. Kate was driving back home that night, so she didn't, and the other Katie was driving Mike and Nikki home, so she didn't either. The rest of us...did. Lots. Court and Ry were both drunk by the time we left the bowling alley, and then we went to a bar, where we all drank some more and Court flirted with the cute guy who was playing pool with Mike (well, after I played pool with Mike and lost horribly - I think he was hanging out waiting for someone to play with), whose name was Angel. Then Katie Mike and Nikki left, all of them still mostly sober, I think Mike had one beer, and Nikki may have had a few drinks over the course of the evening, but she was still pretty steady. Hehe, Katie was concerned about leaving me alone with BOTH Court and Ry. I promised her I could deal with both of them, so we hung out there for most of the rest of the night. Well, then we had to go eat something, 'cuz they were both totally drunk and needed something to soak up some of that alcohol, otherwise I think they probably both would have been sick.
We went to Phil's and Courtney recognized our waitress, so they were talking. I think she was concerned that they were going to hurt themselves or something, but we got in and out okay, then we went back to the bar - where Ryan threw away the leftover pizza, 'cuz they wouldn't let us bring it back in. We left ten minutes before bar close and I called Mary to come pick us up. Courtney is really loud when she's drunk. Hehe, she kept calling her mom, though I don't think she actually wanted anything, she just wanted Mary to pay attention to her, so I went and sat downstairs and talked to her for a while so she'd let Mary go to bed. But then I went up to bed when I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, and we both went to sleep. Of course then we both got up five hours later to go to this garage sale where Court bought a jello cookbook and I bought some yarn.
Neither of us was hung over. Now, I may not have been as drunk as the two of them, but I was still pretty far gone, and when I woke up my back hurt (It has for a few days now) but aside from that, nothing.
Hehe, yay for not getting hung over.

I'm worried about Mike. He wasn't having a good time. Not that I'm saying I would have been if I were him, but still, it hurts me to see him sad like this. I'm almost positive he wouldn't willingly give up Katie, but this inbetween thing is killing him. It's not fair to either of them to keep up this quasi-relationship. He misses her, and I don't think he knows why she broke it off, which is worse still.
I just want them both to be happy.

Ugggh

Enough already with the randomness.
I could say more about the aforementioned situation, but I don't wanna.

I'm tired. I'm in the library, where I should probably be either reading the book for my stupid lit class or sitting in the coffeeshop drinking a cup of coffee...but somehow I'm perfectly content sitting here doing neither.
Have I mentioned that I'm tired?
I got out of lab early tonight (yay for easy labs...now if only she'd send out the stupid write-up forms after lab rather than four days from now, how happy would I be, but anyway) and now I have to wait until 9:00 (when my free minutes kick in) to call Rachel and wish her a happy birthday. Which means that my birthday is in exactly nine days, four hours and twenty-three minutes (do you know the hour and minute in which you were born? I do.). I just want it to be Friday.
On Friday night, I am going bowling with my friends - the ones who have been there since, like, seventh grade - and then we're apparently going out, but the bowling is really more the point. It's so random and fun. And Kate's not going out with us 'cuz she has to work the next day. Then after that I'm going back to Court's house, where not sure what we're gonna do, 'cuz the plan was to hang out on Saturday and do nothing then to go to the barn sale on Sunday, but her sister really wants to go to the barn sale and works on Sunday or something, so we haven't really decided what we want to do (since I really don't care, it's more difficult). Of course, her sister says every year that she wants to go with us to the sale, so it's possible that she won't make it anyway.
So yeah.
I think I'm actually going to go check my minutes and then go home if I have enough left to talk to her for the half hour before nine.
I'm too tired to sit here and read.