I got an email today

From John of all people. Okay, so I emailed him yesterday with one of those, "is that really you or has someone else stumbled upon your email address" emails.
I miss him more than you could ever imagine, which is crazy because I've hardly seen him in umm seven years? How bizarre a thought is that.
That's a third of my life.
I used to talk to him about everything, and I could talk to him about anything.
I miss that. I miss having someone I can vent to about whatever and he won't try to make me feel better (well, eventually, but he'd let me vent for a while) and he wouldn't get all "well my problems are WAY worse than yours" and he'd listen and then I'd realize that I'd been bitching for a while so I'd shut up and let him talk and he gave genuinely good advice.
Which is probably why I convinced myself that I was in love with him. Well, that and because I was fifteen. And he is adorable and funny and smart.
And even from the three sentence email he sent me he sounds happy, which makes me happy.
Okay, well, I'm heading to Menominee for a fitting for the next couple days. I can't wait to try on my dress again. It's so beautiful it's hard to believe that I didn't like the idea of it at first. Separates just aren't really my thing, but this dress is gorgeous and I can't wait to wear it for the wedding.

There are no trucks.

The librarians are purging the collection of any books that are obsolete and now I'm out of places to go with books. Of course, that's not entirely their fault, since we have to make room for all of the new books we're buying because apparently we've got a pretty big grant to spend and our collection is really sad in some areas.
Ugh. People just keep bringing things back. What's the deal? I mean, I get that it's a library, but half of these books were due last week or the one before. why not bring them back on time and spare me the trouble of trying to find somewhere to put them until someone can find the time in their busy schedules to shelve.
I would do it, but I'm already working three different shifts today and I need to go home for at least a little while to get my stuff together to go to Menominee tomorrow after work.

I'm tired. Still. But I worked 'til midnight last night and then when I got home my roommates (who hate one another unless one of them is mad at me and then they're best friends) were in my room talking. I share my room with one of them, so it's not like they were hanging out and going through my stuff. Just talking. Of course, then the one I share the room with just sat and looked at me until I went to bed. All the while impatiently flipping through channels because "there's nothing on" well no shit. It's 12:30 at night and you stay less than two seconds on each channel, so how could you possibly know that there's nothing on?
Rrr.
I don't want to be mad at her. I don't even really want to be a bitch, though that seems to be my trade at the moment. Occupation: Being a bitch. Area: Sarcastic criticism.
I just want to be done. But then I know that I'll be broke AND have nothing to do.
Wait. That's where I am now. Yeah. I want to be done.

Andy wants to borrow my house

So, there's this guy in my Ed class, and he's really nice and he's hilarious and he wants to borrow my house to make a pilgrimage to one of the casinos in the UP. One problem. My parents have officially sold it and they close on the tenth. Of course, he doesn't believe me and the only other date he can come up with (before then) is the fifth when I will be there for my second fitting for my dress for my friend's wedding.
Seriously, I wanted to let him stay there, and I was even going to ask my mother if it would be okay, and then she told me that they're moving the closing from June 1 (which was already about four days too early for my peace of mind) to May 10 which just made me mad. In exactly eight days I will no longer have a home in the UP. I can't believe I'm saying that with regret. I hated that I had to move there - of course I was fifteen and hated pretty much everything - but whatever. That's not the point.
The point is I have friends there, and I have family there (by my definition of family which typically does not involve the people with whom I share biological ties), and I love it. It's a beautiful place even if it is in the middle of the largest population of hicks north of the Mason-Dixon. There are trees for miles and miles and the second weekend in October is the most beautiful time of year (also my birthday oddly enough) and one can swim in the river, and in the winter when the bay is covered in snow, it's the most beautiful thing this side of heaven.
I'm really going to miss it.

Anyway, back to the funny part. Andy's been hounding me for a week - since I made the mistake of saying that my parents' house in the UP was standing empty - and he apparently lives in the library because he ambushes me every time I'm at work and he's all "how about the..." and starts rambling off dates. I told him today (because my mother told me yesterday) about the change in closing dates and he's all "well, they're not going to move in right away. Leave a key under the mat and I will take full responsibility for anything that happens." To which I was forced to reply that 1) that's illegal, and 2) if they moved the closing up three weeks, they had to have a reason.
Shit, I have to send back my rsvp card. One would think the maid of honor wouldn't have to rsvp - I've spent too much money on this thing not to show up.
Anyway, I'm going back to my book now. Maybe I'll update again tomorrow while I'm at work again.

I'm Tired

I really think the problem is that I'm getting more sleep than normal and my body doesn't understand what's going on. Of course, I was always tired when I wasn't getting enough sleep, too, so I could be wrong about the nature of my tiredness. It could just be depression. That makes you tired, doesn't it?
I want to be happy. I really do. I mean, who doesn't, ya know? It's just not working.
I had so much fun yesterday just sitting around talking to my roommates and watching really bad Lifetime movies. I didn't even REALLY mind when I went to work and my roommie called and told me that the stupid jackass campus safety guy was giving me a parking ticket (I had her go move my car and he still left the ticket there and followed her to my new parking spot. How retarded is that?) and it was SUNDAY and nobody ever tickets on Sunday, but whatever.
The light in the display case in the coffee shop is blinking. I can see it out of the corner of my eye and it's driving me crazy.
I'm about a third of the way through The Red Tent and it's really good. I suggest everyone read it. Of course, I pretty much like every book I've ever read (with the exception of Robinson Crusoe, but I never actually finished that one and I was reading it for a class and it's really long and kinda boring if you really just don't care about how he's planning on surviving the island. Maybe if I watched reality tv I would have liked it more. Whatever.) so a good review from me doesn't necessarily mean much.
I'm still tired.
I need to go to walmart and buy yarn so I can start a new project. I don't know what I'm going to do in my apartment all day today until I come back to work at nine. I work nine to midnight tonight. And tomorrow night, too actually. Hmmn. Never during the actual semester, but now that I'm done I'm okay with being out until midnight 'cuz I don't have to get up for a nine am class. Of course, we went to bed at like 1:30 this morning and I didn't wake up (completely) until about 9:30 so that's almost eight hours of sleep and WHY AM I SO TIRED?!?!
Anyway.
Maybe I'll go home and take a nap.
Right. Like that's gonna happen. I always plan to take naps, and then actual nap time comes around and I'm exhausted but either too tired to sleep or not tired to sleep or just crazy distracted from my sleepingness. And I get the feeling that if I do take a nap I'm going to be even more tired later tonight.
Maybe it's the peanut butter. I had a bagel with peanut butter for breakfast. Does peanut butter make one tired? Is that possible?
Now I'm just being crazy. I'm gonna shut up now.