I am very tired

Today is the second day in a row that I have opened the library. I should be doing my math homework, but it isn't due until Thursday and I don't have any classes tomorrow - of course the fact that I have no classes tomorrow only means that I will be spending half the day in bed wishing I didn't have anything to do on my day with no classes. Of course, I work from nine 'til midnight tonight as well, so I can easily work on something then. But that will probably be time for reading the novel I need to finish for class on Thursday which I forgot at Courtney's house on Sunday (which she very kindly dropped off for me after she got done with classes yesterday. I love that she has classes in Waukesha - it's rather convenient what with me living here) because God knows I don't want to carry my Geometry book with me to lab tonight - or for that matter to my meeting with my chem study group at four.
The meeting with my study group for which we have not yet received the assignment. Prof's all "oh, I'll get it out to you this afternoon. It'll be due on Friday in class" Yeah. Haven't gotten it yet. RRRR
And I open the library AGAIN on Thursday. I really shouldn't be complaining. I agreed to take the shifts. Hell, I signed up for them. And this morning when I woke up I actually felt like I should be awake, but that doesn't make sitting here in the semi-twilight (stupid rain) any more pleasant. It started raining two minutes before I absolutely HAD to leave, otherwise the library would absolutely not open on time. Of course, it didn't help that I went to bed somewhere around midnight and then proceeded to talk to Kate for about half an hour, until one or both of us fell asleep in the middle of our conversation. Yesterday was a crazy day.
I opened the library, and then at nine called Court to ask her if she could drop off my book. Then I had class STRAIGHT from ten to four, with those cute little ten minute passing times to walk from one side of campus to the other. Those ten minute passing times which professors tend to believe are their own personal fudge times, available times provided just in case they have more to say than they can cover in their given fifty minutes.
ALL of my classes ran over yesterday. Then I came to work from 5-7, so for the hour from 4-5 I had absolutely no desire to spend ten minutes walking home, then ten minutes walking back, so I sat in the coffeeshop and had coffee and a bagel and started reading a book - which I then put back on the shelf because I have very little free reading time and much as I would like to read the book, I didn't feel like carrying it home just so it could sit around until it was due to be returned to the library.
Then when I got home I started making dinner and doing laundry, but some jackass apparently can't read the half dozen signs in the laundry room that say "Don't leave your laundry in the machines. Know when it will be done and come get it." Or something relatively close to that. So I had to do one load at a time, forgetting dryer sheets, so no fabric softener for me, then when the second load was done in the washer, I had to wait for the dumbass with the other dryer to come empty her towels which had been done for approximately twenty minutes. Then Rissa called, so I went and sat on the stoop outside to talk to her - Kate was talking on the phone from the minute I got home until after I got off of my SECOND phone call - which was with Josh, whom I talked to - again mostly outside, after I switched my laundry from the washer to the now-empty dryer while trying to hold my cell phone with my shoulder - after Marissa.
I miss him.
Kate says I should move to Detroit after graduation if we're both still single (I've noticed now she's happily planning her life with her boyfriend whom she's been going out with for a whole two months, she's DYING to get everyone else set up in cute little pairs) and I can a.) teach him to control his drinking and b.) Get to know Detroit - nothing about how happy I'd be there with him, which considering he hasn't ASKED me to go, and is forgoing sleep for the social life he already has. I explained that I could not be happy there with him. I'm too jealous, and I wouldn't fit into his social life - he's kind of a barscene kinda guy and I am very much not a bar person. Which is to say that I am, but I like bars like Cheers, where one can go in and sit on a stool and talk to people, rather than the ones where one goes in and screams to get the bartender's attention and then gets stuck drinking really bad, horribly overpriced booze and pretends she's enjoying it.
And I don't like cities, I can't afford Detroit, and I kinda wanna live with Court - and Don't want to be in Detroit. I'm comfortable with Wisconsin. She was even telling me how they have grad schools in Detroit and she's sure I could get into one (thanks ever so much, love) and that it would be a wonderful program.
I don't even know if I want to be with Josh. Granted, he's beautiful and funny and smart and (when he's not drinking) fairly polite and well behaved, but he's also a flirt and is at the moment teetering on the edge of alcoholism (which I really would like to help him with), and I'm fairly certain he doesn't want me to feel this way about him.
Ugh. I'm always just fine until someone says "hey, why aren't the two of you together" and then my brain goes through all the possibilities of how we could end up - and very few of them end in the happily ever after scenario. Then I couldn't sleep well, 'cuz when I was talking to Marissa she told me about this horrible dream she'd had about how Josh was really sick and died and didn't tell anybody about being ill and then the only reason Marissa found out was because his mom called to invite them to the funeral. I hate when people tell me things like that. Kate - always the font of information - says death in dreams signifies a new beginning or a dramatic change coming up in one's life, so I'm hoping that's all it means.
Ugh, okay. I need to stop this before I start really going off the deep end.